The Expectation to Sacrifice
Once upon a time in a village far far away lived a girl, Shim Cheong. She lived with her blind and penniless father. One night, she discovered that her father would be able to regain sight if she sacrificed herself to the Sea-God. The following day, she threw herself into the sea without a second thought. Moved by Shim Cheong’s display of filial dutifulness, the Sea-God resurrected her, and her father recovered sight.
The story of Shim Cheong has long been a beloved, indispensable folktale in Korea. Most, if not all, Korean children grow up reading and listening to this story, which they quickly learn to idolize. However, its extraordinarily salient role in the story reveals a disheartening truth about Korean culture: a woman’s morality originates from the sacrifices for her family. Whether it be for her parents, her husband, or her children, women are often expected to put the wants of their families before their own. These values came from Confucianism, which constructed a patriarchal society in which women were powerless against men. Often described as the “enemy of feminism,” Confucian principles shaped several patriarchal systems in which women were bound to the confines of a man’s decisions. Even in contemporary Korea, Confucian-influenced social systems and hierarchies still dominate the society.
In fact, such patriarchal values are so ubiquitous that it extends to the legal system in Korea. Take for example the legal system of family registration in which all members of a family are registered under the head of the family, “Hoju.” While not legally mandated, a Hoju is typically a man, due to the patriarchal social norms. Under this system, a woman would be listed under her father’s name until she gets married, when she would be moved to be under her husband’s. This legal arrangement would often involve complete male dominance over all stages of a woman’s life, starting from her father, her husband, then finally her grown sons. The institutionalization of this system gave rise to the exclusion of women from financial, legal, and social arenas, confining them to household activities.
As demonstrated by the Hoju system, which was abolished only in 2007, women have long been subordinates, even in their own families. Given these circumstances, it is customary for a woman to put the wants of others, often the man of the family, before her own. Even I, a 16 year old high school student, feel a considerable amount of parental and societal pressure to prioritize my parent’s aspirations over mine. One such instance concerns my post-college life. While I aspire to pursue a successful career path in the United States after college, my father urges me to return to Korea to have a typical Korean family. Despite having had this aspiration for very long, I feel a significant amount of cultural pressure to abide by my father’s wishes, sacrificing my own. The ubiquitousness of Confucian patriarchal values reach women on the personal level. Much like my own experience, many Korean women encounter predicaments, most of which end in them sacrificing their own desires.
This ancient yet still prevailing value presents a conflict with the recent changing social attitudes of Koreans. Korean society has become comparably more liberal with issues such as gender norms. Unlike previous centuries where women were bound only to their homes, the 21st century introduced a shift in the societal expectations or normalities of women.
Today, Korean women often find themselves struggling to choose between their own aspirations and society’s expectations for their sacrifice. Especially with the rise of modern and mainstream feminism in Korea, many have started to fight against the long held patriarchal cultural norms. Ranging from social media movements to non-profit organizations, many women have initiated valuable attempts to eradicate patriarchal social systems and norms. However, given the deeply rooted nature of Confucianism and its patriarchal values, lasting social change will require tremendous effort from both women and men. We must recognize that deep-rooted social change is only possible when members of a society work together to reach a unifying goal. In this case, we must strive to dismantle patriarchal social systems. Whether it be through strong social justice movements or showing little acts of resistance, we have the potential to make lasting change. The story of Shim Cheong can still be appreciated, but perhaps we can also see a modern Shim Cheong who can still reach her happily ever after without her woeful sacrifice.